Spring break. Thank God it’s finally here. Just when you thought your brain was going to explode and your body was going to be permanently numb. But for all the joy that a week in the sun can bring you, there are some definite what NOT to-do’s…and here they are:
1.Don’t go somewhere cold. Seriously people, you’d leave State College and go somewhere colder….?
2.Don’t drink anything that doesn’t have an umbrella in it.
3.Don’t forget to rotate every 30 minutes. Lobster should be what you eat on break, not how you accessorize.
4.Don’t forget to re-hook your suit. Tan lines are bad; becoming your own Girls Gone Wild video—worse, much worse.
5.Don’t forget your, uh, intimate apparel. Table dancing sans panties will get you a rep like Britney or Paris.
6.Don’t make any permanent decisions. Pierce whatever you want because no matter how much your tongue ring hurts the next day it won’t be nearly as painful as realizing you now have Sponge Bob Square Pants across your back.
7.Don’t underestimate the power of a printer and some lamination. You can make a pretty realistic Maxim press pass if you put your mind to it.
8.Don’t skip meals. Not eating for 2 months to make sure you look smoking hott in your suit won’t matter—rolls and curves look the same after a few drinks.
9.Don’t forget a camera. Chances are pretty good you may not remember the trip anyway, but if you have pictures you can at least look back and assume you had a good time.
10.Don’t forget to hydrate. Hours in the sun without some, uh, refreshment could prove a very sobering experience.
11.Don’t travel without a buffer. After 19 hours in the back of a van you’ll hate everyone…except the person sitting furthest from you.
12.Don’t ignore the importance of a kickass soundtrack. Forget The Beach Boys; when it comes to beach classics, Sisqo knew what was up. Let me see that thong th-th-th-thong.
13.Don’t think you’re on Laguna Beach. Yelling “what happens in Cabo stays in Cabo” will only get you slapped. And rightly so.
14.Don’t ignore the other 13 things on this list because trust me, I’ve been there, I know what I’m talking about.
Spring break. Thank God it’s finally here. Just when you thought your brain was going to explode and your body was going to be permanently numb. But for all the joy that a week in the sun can bring you, there are some definite what NOT to-do’s…and here they are:
