So I’ve done my share of party hopping here at the number two party school in the nation. And this means that evidently, I have a widespread knowledge of the music that is played at these so-called great parties. What I have noticed, through my extensive research consisting of alcohol, high heels (actually that’s a lie, I wear flats) and my ass that always likes to shake when it hears a good beat, is that there are certain songs that are always heard at every party. These are called Mandatory Party Songs, or as I like to call them, MPSs. I will outline the top five MPSs here.
MPS #1: Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey
Pretty much the most used party song, ever. I find it a rare occasion when I’m at a party that doesn’t play this song. It’s kind of like, if you don’t hear this song at a party, you have to come to the conclusion that the people who are throwing the party are complete tools. (Or actually are your saviors, depending on the way you look at it.) There’s nothing better (or worse) than a bunch of drunken college kids screaming at the top of their lungs, beer spilling out of Solos and onto the floor, to remind everyone that no one should stop believin’ and that if you’re a small town girl, you should totally just take the midnight train goin’ anywhere. Really, really safe idea.
MPS #2: Livin’ On A Prayer by Bon Jovi
Oh. You’re half way there. Oh. You’re livin’ on a prayer. If you take his hand, you’ll make it, he swears. I honestly wonder whether or not Mr. Bon Jovi himself gets tired of this song. If he goes to a Rutgers party (for the sake of him growing up in Jersey and for no other reason than that because Rutgers is disgusting) and hears his song playing at each party, I wonder if he wants to severely injure someone. I can seriously see it, with his ridiculous hair bouncing as he walks in his tight pants, running up to the DJ (or iPod, depending on how fancy you are) to make sure his song is never played again. Ever. I would applaud, because I do not like this song.
MPS #3: Yeah! by Usher
Okay, this song was popular when I was a senior in high school, but seriously, it still gets everyone dancing. Let’s be honest. I mean, it’s the kind of song where people hear it and some little teeny tiny part of them is like “I totally have to go dance to this song” but at the same time, some other part of them is thinking “Hold up, wasn’t this song cool a while ago and so shouldn’t I pretend that I’m so over it?” Yeah but see no matter how much you want to fight it, this song still makes you dance. Because you know that Ursher got the beat that make ya booty go (clap).
MPS #4: I’m A Female, Hear Me Roar by Madonna, Kelly Clarkson or Cascada
Any song by a female artist that makes girls go nuts and guys run like hell back to the keg. For example, Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson, Any Song Ever Recorded by Madonna or Every Time We Touch by Cascada. Every single girl gets together, most likely in a circle (Fuck guys. I just want to dance…) and bounces up and down, does the head shake from side to side, and belts out the words as if she were the American Idol herself. Because for some reason, this makes us feel empowered and liberated. Until Biggie or 50 come on and then we get down from the couch and the table and we go back to fill up our cups.
MPS #5: I’m A Male, Hear How I Bang Chicks And Kill People by any rap artist, ever
Ah yes, my favorite. The rap song that makes all the guys thank God that the girly song is over and wonder if they’ll get the chance to bang a chick tonight. It’s usually the current hot song, or even an old-school one like Biggie’s Hypnotize. I actually like these songs because I get to leave my super-white-chick thing that I have going on and I get to dance like I’m a video ho. Which is always fun.
So I’ve done my share of party hopping here at the number two party school in the nation. And this means that evidently, I have a widespread knowledge of the music that is played at these so-called great parties. What I have noticed, through my extensive research consisting of alcohol, high heels (actually that’s a lie, I wear flats) and my ass that always likes to shake when it hears a good beat, is that there are certain songs that are always heard at every party. These are called Mandatory Party Songs, or as I like to call them, MPSs. I will outline the top five MPSs here. 
