AP- Washingthon, D.C. – Only one week after the mid-term election that placed the Democrats firmly in control of the Legislative Branch of the U.S. Government, Washington has fallen into liberal chaos. The Democrats departure from the “Abstinence Only” education system has caused teen pregnancy rates in the immediate area to rise by nearly 300%. The robust demand for “Planned Parenthood” clinics has allowed many minority entrepreneurs to open their own abortion businesses. These businesses have been making a spectacular amount of profit seeing as how they only employ the low-wage earning, former illegal immigrants, who the Democrats awarded total amnesty to.
Newly appointed Senate Majority leader Christopher Bridges, better known to most as rapper “Ludacris”, commented on the current state of the city at a press conference. “I wanna li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes. And I wanna move from the bed down to the down to the to the floor. I wanna ah-ah, you make it so good I don’t wanna leave. But I got to kn-kn-kn-know what’s your fan-ta-sy” This statement did not exactly shed light onto the situation, but it still made all of the White House correspondents do the “Drrrty Bird.”
With all of the “Planned Parenhood” clinics operating in the district, the abundance of available stem cells has caused a plethora of research that has led to several Earth-shattering medical and political breakthroughs. All of the available stem cells have allowed Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton to start a project that will re-animate the long-deceased father of Communism, Karl Marx. Once Marx is alive and walking, he will be named Chairman of the Federal Reserve, a post once held by staunch capitalist, Alan Greenspan.
AP- Washingthon, D.C. – Only one week after the mid-term election that placed the Democrats firmly in control of the Legislative Branch of the U.S. Government, Washington has fallen into liberal chaos. The Democrats departure from the “Abstinence Only” education system has caused teen pregnancy rates in the immediate area to rise by nearly 300%. The robust demand for “Planned Parenthood” clinics has allowed many minority entrepreneurs to open their own abortion businesses. These businesses have been making a spectacular amount of profit seeing as how they only employ the low-wage earning, former illegal immigrants, who the Democrats awarded total amnesty to. 
