What I am about to say might sound shocking but I think it is safe to say that we all have to wake up each day, am I right? Now for this rant let’s assume that every one of us that actually wakes during the day has their peaceful slumber disrupted by an alarm clock a.k.a. Satan’s asshole. Let’s also assume that unlike a human rectum Satan’s is positioned up or near the average slumberee’s head. That’s just like Satan to make us uncomfortable to the max. What thoughts go through your mind in the morn when that very buttock bellows a nice one in your ear? Ya damn right you are pissed off. But needless to say as long as his finger is being pulled it is going to keep going off so we awake and cork that bad boy up by means of the “alarm off” switch. We then arise and start off our day ticked off. The human race as grown to loathe the alarm clock and rightfully so.
Now there are different types of alarm clocks that I feel can be lumped into two categories the Man’s alarm clock and the Carson Daily alarm clock. The Man’s alarm clock is generally your cheaper model that makes the traditional, tonal sound of various beeps while the Carson Daily “Tool bag” model plays music or talks to you (a higher end model). Now lets say you live alone in your apartment. Your alarm goes off you hit the snooze button and wake up like 8 minutes later to the same punishing sound. This cycle may continue for sometime until you either turn it off completely and forget about your class or actually wake up. But most of us do not live alone; most have 2-3 other people sleeping in their bedroom along with themselves. This poses a problem hence why I am truly writing. The alarm clock war wages. You and your roommate(s) tend to not always have the same class times day in and day out which means one has to wake before the other at some point. This creates tension between roommates. The one that hast to wake up first (roommate A) is ever so envious of the other (roommate B) for he gets to sleep longer. Now B gets irritated with A when his dreaded alarm clock goes off. Both roomies have to awake. And sometimes A decides to be a butt cheese and lay in bed while his alarm goes off. B is forced to listen to the noise that even the Grinch who stole Christmas would resent. And to make matters worse if A has a Carson Daily clock B learns to hate whatever song is being played more so than Kevin Federline’s smash hit single, “PopoZao.” B gets so enraged sometimes that he gets out of his bed to turn off the clock and exchange some ever so kind words with A, just what A needs to start the day off right. The roommates then start a feuding war that could last the entire day (in a girls case dare I say weeks even). A later in the day eats B’s food, B then makes sure there is no toilet paper left for A’s BM, and A finishes up the day with a nice Axe bombing (if you are not sure what an Axe bombing is just know it is a type of aerosol warfare or see Urban Dictionary).
In conclusion lets us be aware of our roommates and their harsh menopausal behaviors in the early hours of a school day. For all you roommate A’s out there please when your alarm goes off get right up and turn that SoB off wake up and embrace the day. You are the one who scheduled class earlier than B. And after all there is always next semester for payback. As for all you roommate B’s, be mindful during the evening that A hast to awake earlier than you.
What I am about to say might sound shocking but I think it is safe to say that we all have to wake up each day, am I right? Now for this rant let’s assume that every one of us that actually wakes during the day has their peaceful slumber disrupted by an alarm clock a.k.a. Satan’s asshole. Let’s also assume that unlike a human rectum Satan’s is positioned up or near the average slumberee’s head. That’s just like Satan to make us uncomfortable to the max. What thoughts go through your mind in the morn when that very buttock bellows a nice one in your ear? Ya damn right you are pissed off. But needless to say as long as his finger is being pulled it is going to keep going off so we awake and cork that bad boy up by means of the “alarm off” switch. We then arise and start off our day ticked off. The human race as grown to loathe the alarm clock and rightfully so.
